A bystander with a cameraphone caught this image of the attacker emerging from its postal hiding place. Only the rustle of foam packing peanuts gave warning of its stealthy assault.
Witnesses describe the attacker as “small,” “furry,” and “cricetidine.” The attacker is said to be heavily — albeit ”adorably” — armed.
Police are investigating a possible connection between this unprovoked assault and a recent perfectly reasonable conversation between Mr. Gilman and one “Jeff VanderMeer.” (Possibly an alias). This threatening letter – attached to the package – appears to be in VanderMeer’s handwriting.
The furry assassin approaches.
Gilman defends himself.
But without success.
The assassin flees.
Mr. Gilman’s condition remains critical. Contributions to his medical bills may be sent c/o his agent. Alternatively, well-wishers may prefer to donate in his name to the League For Retributory Cruelty To Hamsters.