Overflow
Carrie has a worst-first-lines competition. Limit of three entries per person, and I’ve already used it up. I’m very pleased with:
CLIPCLOP CLIPCLOP clipclop clipclop went Cowboy Dan’s horse as it decelerated into an empty parking spot out front of the Last Chance Saloon.
Anyway, once I start doing one of these things I can’t stop, I binge and binge until I feel bloated and sick and ashamed; so the comments here are for overflow. Anyone under a similar compulsion can feel free to post here or there or both. No prizes here and no point because that’s how life is.
Incidentally, I genuinely rather like Bulwer-Lytton, and I don’t think It was a dark and stormy night. . . is nearly as bad as it’s cracked up to be.
August 11th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
“Help!” shrieked Mina as the vampire approached her (and it’s important to mention at this point that the vampires in this book operate according to the following rules: (1) They can turn into bats, but not mist; (2) they are frightened of crosses but not garlic, because that’s silly; (3) they are the cool and pretty kind of vampire, but not too pretty; (4) they don’t get on with werewolves; (4) they can move around in sunlight; (5) they are roughly as super-strong as Spiderman; (6) methods of killing include but are not limited to stake through the heart, decapitation, and/or burning) baring his fangs.
August 11th, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Lisa, who was a really great literary agent and she had fantastic shoes and was a great person with exceptional taste, sat down to read her slush pile, and because she kept an open mind, unlike some other rude son of a bitch agents she could mention, she discovered something wonderful, actually.
August 11th, 2009 at 7:54 pm
Stately, plump Sean Hannity came from the stairhead.
August 12th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
It’s true that the “dark and stormy night” quote is nowhere as bad as your entries. Kudos!
Think of how much time we could save using your Dracula formula on certain books!
“I probably shouldn’t fall madly in love with this guy,” thought Bella as Edward approached her (and it’s important to mention at this point that the vampires in this book CAN come out during the day, but not into direct sunlight or else they glitter like diamonds, plus these vampires try really hard not to eat people, just animals, and this vampire thinks he’s really a bad guy but of course is the good guy, which is why he’s going to save Bella from the really bad vampires, and so it’s okay for her to fall in love with him and HEY that’s the whole story right there so I guess we’re done now).
August 14th, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Unrelated: can I get your thoughts on this post, please?
http://www.timholman.net/posts/the-chart-of-fantasy-art/
August 14th, 2009 at 5:33 pm
disappointingly poor showing for “maps,” of which I am fond
August 15th, 2009 at 12:05 pm
god damn there is a fucking street fair setting up directly below the window of my office, literally the fucking minute I sat down to write they started playing eyeball-bruisingly loud samba music and they clearly plan to do it all day and maybe all night too
the worst thing is that there is literally no one there, no one actually showing signs of enjoyment, just a huge bandstand and speakers and some indifferent-looking roadies; as if they are doing this purely to spite me
August 15th, 2009 at 9:57 pm
And those salsa bands don’t even protect the world from giant menacing guinea pigs, like the Peruvian flute bands do.
September 15th, 2009 at 10:35 am
Hey! You! Tell everyone about your interview on I Should Be Writing! I’ve got the link up on my blog today.
June 9th, 2010 at 2:05 am
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July 6th, 2010 at 9:57 am
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